Life is full of them, there is no escaping it. I decided which uni i went to, i decided i wanted a motorbike, i decided i wanted to go to glade festival. Each time i made one of those decision i didn't have a clue how they would turn out. That's why i am such a terrible decision maker, if i don't know the consequences of each choice how can i make an informed decision.
There is a theory in quantum mechanics that suggests our minds have the ability of projecting backwards in time, that sometimes we have already made a decision before we become consciously aware that we have something to decide. If only i could look forward a couple of months...but that would be cheating, that wouldn't be fair...if anything it would be selfish.
I am on the precipice of a deep hole getting ready to jump. There is no harness and i cannot See the bottom. What will i find when i land, a bed of nails or feathers. Only time will tell, but ill never find out if i don't take the plunge.
I close my eyes...I'm sorry...i lean forward...I'm sorry...my feet leave the ledge...I'm sorry...the wind rushes past my ears...I'm sorry...the darkness envelops me...I am so sorry.
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Friday, 17 October 2008
Advice....
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97
But trust me on the sunscreen.
"Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" written by Mary Schmich
"WEAR SUNSCREEN!"
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, "sunscreen" would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice NOW!
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind,
The kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive.
Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40.
Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much,
or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance
Even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines.
They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents.
You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings.
They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get,
the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in "New York City" once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in "Northern California" once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young,
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy,
but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.But trust me on the sunscreen.
"Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" written by Mary Schmich
Sunday, 28 September 2008
Pull me out from inside...
Have you ever looked back on a period of your life and wondered how the hell so much happened in what seemed to be such a short space of time. Sure you have. We all do. As i write i am on the cusp of one of the biggest changes in direction my life is likely to take and it strikes me that it may be a good time to reflect on the past 12 months or so.
Back then i had little idea what a bumpy ride this year would be. I was in an extremely stable and happy relationship and i thought that was all that mattered in life. As it turned out the relationship wasn't as stable and happy as everyone thought. In fact it may have been too stable and too happy. For reasons that i don't think i can ever fully explain I ended it. To be perfectly honest i was a fucking bastard about it and i was so immature and stupid that i will never forgive the way i behaved. I regret how i did it but not the fact that i did, as callous as it sounds, it was the right decision.
The year progressed from bad to worse and it is safe to say that if you were around back then you know what i am reffering to. Once again i acted a bastard to the people i loved...you begin to see a pattern. But life carries on and the bad times turned to good times and the good to the bad. People change and we get on with life, little else can be done. Unfortunately the effects of those times were far reaching and nothing was quite the same after that. The entire dynamics of the friendships i had with people were entirely changed, some for better some for worse, mostly the former. The trio will always live on in my heart even though two thirds no longer talk.
It is only now i realise what a blur the past year has been, the only clarity i currently have is this summer. What an amazing summer it has been. I have met some fantastic people and experienced some fantastic times. It kicked off with a holiday in Ibiza which at times felt slightly surreal. This summer has strengthened many of my friendships, even if the circumstances weren't of the happiest nature. I also rekindled a friendship i had severly neglected and feared i had lost, with one of the most important people in my life. I didn't make enough effort to see her and i'll always regret that. Never will i make that mistake again(i promise to call!). Reading festival has to have a mention as the event made me fall in love with music all over again and introduced me to someone i'll never forget, someone i don't know nearly as well as i would like just yet. I don't mind admitting i'll miss her dearly even after only a month friendship, such an impression she has left on me.
It is with mixed emotions that i move on to university. I could all too easily stay here where i am safe and comfortable and happy...but like i say, that would bee too easy. It seems to me that i follow a pattern of making things harder for myself and upsetting the balance of an easy life. I guess i like to keep things interesting and those around me on their toes. It is so hard to leave all the people i love and have recently fallen in love with but we learn our lessons and do what must be done.
This post has been ended by the author due to the fact that he realised he was rambling and generally not making sense. Sorry for wasting your time with this dreadfully pretentious, reflective drivvle....more to follow soon
Back then i had little idea what a bumpy ride this year would be. I was in an extremely stable and happy relationship and i thought that was all that mattered in life. As it turned out the relationship wasn't as stable and happy as everyone thought. In fact it may have been too stable and too happy. For reasons that i don't think i can ever fully explain I ended it. To be perfectly honest i was a fucking bastard about it and i was so immature and stupid that i will never forgive the way i behaved. I regret how i did it but not the fact that i did, as callous as it sounds, it was the right decision.
The year progressed from bad to worse and it is safe to say that if you were around back then you know what i am reffering to. Once again i acted a bastard to the people i loved...you begin to see a pattern. But life carries on and the bad times turned to good times and the good to the bad. People change and we get on with life, little else can be done. Unfortunately the effects of those times were far reaching and nothing was quite the same after that. The entire dynamics of the friendships i had with people were entirely changed, some for better some for worse, mostly the former. The trio will always live on in my heart even though two thirds no longer talk.
It is only now i realise what a blur the past year has been, the only clarity i currently have is this summer. What an amazing summer it has been. I have met some fantastic people and experienced some fantastic times. It kicked off with a holiday in Ibiza which at times felt slightly surreal. This summer has strengthened many of my friendships, even if the circumstances weren't of the happiest nature. I also rekindled a friendship i had severly neglected and feared i had lost, with one of the most important people in my life. I didn't make enough effort to see her and i'll always regret that. Never will i make that mistake again(i promise to call!). Reading festival has to have a mention as the event made me fall in love with music all over again and introduced me to someone i'll never forget, someone i don't know nearly as well as i would like just yet. I don't mind admitting i'll miss her dearly even after only a month friendship, such an impression she has left on me.
It is with mixed emotions that i move on to university. I could all too easily stay here where i am safe and comfortable and happy...but like i say, that would bee too easy. It seems to me that i follow a pattern of making things harder for myself and upsetting the balance of an easy life. I guess i like to keep things interesting and those around me on their toes. It is so hard to leave all the people i love and have recently fallen in love with but we learn our lessons and do what must be done.
This post has been ended by the author due to the fact that he realised he was rambling and generally not making sense. Sorry for wasting your time with this dreadfully pretentious, reflective drivvle....more to follow soon
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